Jag heter Charles tonedown Björklund.
Jag gillar Magic.
Jag gillar Gilbert & Sullivans Savoyoperor (1881 uppförde mecenaten och producenten Richard D'Oyly Carte the Savoy Theatre främst för att visa upp Gilbert & Sullivans verk) där "Pirates of Penzance" ingår (Även om den hade premiär innan Savoy Theatre uppfördes räknas numera alla de tretton operor som G&S skrev för D'Oyly Carte som Savoyoperor).

Fredagen den 18/7 skrev LSV en artikel på moderskeppet vid namn "The very model of a modern modern metagame". Titeln refererar till "The Major General's Song" från Pirates of Penzance.

LSV inkluderar ingen sångtext i sin artikel. Jag känner ett behov av att korrigera det.

Utan vidare krumbukter ger jag er "The Modern Metagame's Song":


I am the very model of a modern modern metagame,
where card choices are as diverse as all is dust or tribal flames,
where Emrakul runs rampant next to broken mirror's tokens made,
and goblins from the warrens overrun celestial colonnades.
Whether your choice of deck is of the combo or controlling kind,
your preference is smashing face or even splicing evermind.
You'll find the only limit to your brewing is your binder's size...
So build around plagiarize, naturalize or harmonize!
A panoply of creatures work to give your decklist quite the sheen,
a lowly morph cloudshifted to a cloudscraping thirteen/thirteen,
in helping you to qualify for glory and for pro tour fame,
I am the very model of a modern modern metagame.


If shifting scapes into a molten pinnacle is not for you,
then beating down with fish might constitute a slightly better view.
Though hasty elves have left the scene a-lacking Jundish battery,
enchantments making hasty faeries might just be your cup of tea.
Exiling your opponents lands with liberated planeswalkers,
perhaps improving bogleman by adding extra witchstalkers,
the format's full of crazy cards and wonderful deck-building toys...
If all else fails, you can always go back to playing tarmogoyf!
If shuffling is your favorite pastime you could play Melira Pod,
though going infinite can get you known as an annoying clod,
it matters little as long as you stick to the old new cardframe,
I am the very model of a modern modern metagame.


A win by topdeck of a splinter twin can be considered rude,
but luckily for you your sideboard options are a multitude.
A torpor orb can stop that lucky miser right dead in his tracks,
and shatterstom destroys a deck that's all composed of artifacts.
A canonist that's ethersworn sends storm players into a rage,
Tron player cries when you just drew your third straight fulminator mage,
a carefully planned approach to hate can turn a game one debacle...
Into another win for you, no matter how improbable.
The banlist may be ever changing, we don't know what's here to stay,
and fetchlands they will set you back at least a couple of month's pay,
but still you're lining up to hear that old familiar refrain,
I am the very model of a modern modern metagame!


Förhoppningsvis har jag nu skapat ett uppsving för satirisk brittisk 1800-talsopera bland svenska magicspelare. Jag rekommenderar att ni börjar med 1885 års The Mikado eller 1878 års H.M.S. Pinafore (min egen favorit, trekkies bland läsarna känner säkerligen igen den från den högst mediokra Star Trek: Insurrection där Data håller på att öva in den, men nu spårar jag ur.), för att sedan arbeta er fram till mindre kända verk som Iolanthe eller The Gondoliers.

Man kan naturligtvis också bygga dåliga Magiclekar med spännande teman såsom "1800-talsopera", "Sjungande pirater" eller "Lionel Moncktons samlade verk". Det tänker jag inte ens försöka. "A deckbuilder's lot is not a happy one", för att parafrasera G&S.
Tack för er tid.


För de av er som vill läsa/höra originalet kan ni göra det här.